Growth Mindset vs. Perfectionism
My 2017 mantra for myself: There's always room for growth.
Hi. My name is Ashley. I am a recovering perfectionist.
I recently discovered the wisdom of Carol Dweck, a psychologist who has been researching "growth mindset" for over 30 years. Some of the big takeaways from her research:
I went for a hike today in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Hiking is my me time, my meditation, my church. Last summer I got lost while hiking on an unmarked trail, and my 2-hour hike turned into an overnight adventure. I learned so much from that experience, and I could sum up my learning with the phrase "there's always room for growth". I shouldn't have gotten lost. I've been hiking for my entire life; there are multiple Eagle Scouts in my immediate family who have imparted their knowledge to me; I've taken outdoor education classes with orienteering, . . . and yet I still messed up. I wasn't prepared; I didn't have a map with me; I was overconfident. As a perfectionist, it is hard for me to let myself make mistakes and even harder to admit to them. I've always been the smart one, the good girl, the star student, the top of my class. But I often don't try new things because I don't want to risk failure. And at times, if I make a mistake, I will give up and quit, or at the very least, burst into tears out of shame.
This time I'm not quitting. I love hiking too much to give it up, so I need to get better at my preparation and orienteering skills.
After getting lost last summer, I got a GPS. I took a class on how to use it (it's way more complicated than it should be). I'm trying. I'm learning. I'm persisting. I still have room for growth. I had my GPS with me today, and it was fully charged (that's an improvement over the last time I tried to use it only to discover that its battery was drained!). The GPS connects to maps on my phone, and I had checked before leaving the house to make sure I had the correct map downloaded. I also had a "real" map with me. All of those are improvements over last summer's adventure. Pat on the back for me. Here are areas where I still have room for growth: I forgot to turn on the bluetooth connection between my phone and GPS, so they weren't working together very well for the first half of my hike. I also failed to mark a waypoint at the trailhead (which would have been handy if I needed to retrace my route on the way back). Here is the progress I'm most proud of: I'm not upset at myself for forgetting a few steps. I see where I need to improve, and I'm anxious to go out there again and do better!
As a person who was conditioned to see good grades and labels of "smart" as validation, this is a paradigm shift for me. I am learning that I don't have to be perfect. I just have to keep trying. In my grad school classes, I still anxiously check Blackboard for my grade after I've turned in an assignment. It is satisfying when I see a 98, and somewhat disappointing when I see anything below a 95. But slowly, with the help of my new Teachers Going Gradeless friends, I am learning to appreciate and look forward to the professor's feedback more than the number grade.
When I go back to teaching, I hope to implement a gradeless classroom that encourages a growth mindset. In the meantime, I'll keep working on my own growth.
Hi. My name is Ashley. I am a recovering perfectionist.
I recently discovered the wisdom of Carol Dweck, a psychologist who has been researching "growth mindset" for over 30 years. Some of the big takeaways from her research:
- Students with a fixed mindset often perceive difficulties as catastrophic. They run from errors.
- Students with a growth mindset often perceive difficulties as a learning opportunity. They bounce back after setbacks.
- Telling children they are "smart" encourages a fixed mindset.
- Praising children for their effort and perseverance encourages a growth mindset.
I have had a perfectionistic, fixed mindset for most of my life. I am working on changing that to a growth mindset.
I went for a hike today in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Hiking is my me time, my meditation, my church. Last summer I got lost while hiking on an unmarked trail, and my 2-hour hike turned into an overnight adventure. I learned so much from that experience, and I could sum up my learning with the phrase "there's always room for growth". I shouldn't have gotten lost. I've been hiking for my entire life; there are multiple Eagle Scouts in my immediate family who have imparted their knowledge to me; I've taken outdoor education classes with orienteering, . . . and yet I still messed up. I wasn't prepared; I didn't have a map with me; I was overconfident. As a perfectionist, it is hard for me to let myself make mistakes and even harder to admit to them. I've always been the smart one, the good girl, the star student, the top of my class. But I often don't try new things because I don't want to risk failure. And at times, if I make a mistake, I will give up and quit, or at the very least, burst into tears out of shame.
This time I'm not quitting. I love hiking too much to give it up, so I need to get better at my preparation and orienteering skills.
After getting lost last summer, I got a GPS. I took a class on how to use it (it's way more complicated than it should be). I'm trying. I'm learning. I'm persisting. I still have room for growth. I had my GPS with me today, and it was fully charged (that's an improvement over the last time I tried to use it only to discover that its battery was drained!). The GPS connects to maps on my phone, and I had checked before leaving the house to make sure I had the correct map downloaded. I also had a "real" map with me. All of those are improvements over last summer's adventure. Pat on the back for me. Here are areas where I still have room for growth: I forgot to turn on the bluetooth connection between my phone and GPS, so they weren't working together very well for the first half of my hike. I also failed to mark a waypoint at the trailhead (which would have been handy if I needed to retrace my route on the way back). Here is the progress I'm most proud of: I'm not upset at myself for forgetting a few steps. I see where I need to improve, and I'm anxious to go out there again and do better!
As a person who was conditioned to see good grades and labels of "smart" as validation, this is a paradigm shift for me. I am learning that I don't have to be perfect. I just have to keep trying. In my grad school classes, I still anxiously check Blackboard for my grade after I've turned in an assignment. It is satisfying when I see a 98, and somewhat disappointing when I see anything below a 95. But slowly, with the help of my new Teachers Going Gradeless friends, I am learning to appreciate and look forward to the professor's feedback more than the number grade.
When I go back to teaching, I hope to implement a gradeless classroom that encourages a growth mindset. In the meantime, I'll keep working on my own growth.
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